Is whining contagious?
Dinners with clients are a big part of the legal business. The endgame is to connect, build rapport, get retained or develop strategies. Since stress, struggle and exhaustion are practically status symbols in our culture, a common way for people to connect is through the art of complaining. But, is that really the best means toward the desired end?
Or, you’ve been hard at work in your office and want a break, so you head to the kitchen to refill your water glass and grab an apple. As you near the kitchen, you hear the sounds of staff members dishing on the latest office dirt and comparing stress levels as if it was a contest with the prize going to the one who sounds least happy. Who has a bigger workload with the shortest deadlines? Whose life is the busiest, most stressful or easiest to gripe about? You start to deflate just listening to the negative talk.
Complaining is draining.
After even a short complaint-fest, your spirits take a dive, your shoulders slump, and your energy wanes. That’s not the result you were seeking.
How can you turn that around? Same scenario but instead of complaining over meals with colleagues or clients, you listen intently. Then, instead of commiserating, you use your time together in a proactive way. By exploring possible solutions, you’ll be able to share your brilliance while you build trust and create a more positive, meaningful connection. You’ll leave energized and eager to follow up and continue the dialog.
If you happen upon others in the office who are out-whining each other, try to interrupt the discussion with a cheerful greeting. Your positive attitude might distract the negative talk out of them and turn their mood for the better, too. Everybody wins.
Why are we so eager to connect by exploiting the negative rather than applauding each other for the positives? It’s time to look for the bright side in every situation rather than dwelling on the stuff that brings us down. The next time someone around you starts to whine, ask them to tell you about the highlight of their day or something that they are looking forward to in their free time.
Smiles are contagious, too, if only we took the time to draw them out more often.
Amicus Curious? Have a question about your health or lifestyle? Send it our way: partner@legallyhealthy.com
